Not Of This World

     I’ve been called by God to learn about the Mormon church, to what purpose I cannot yet know (although I have a strong feeling it is to be baptized in the Church).
     If you are Mormon and have a strong grasp on Mormon fundamentals and beliefs, possibly as a missionary, I would love to talk to you and learn all I can about the LDS church!
     Please send me an ask, or respond to this post if you would like to talk. I appreciate it greatly! Thank you! :)

     Usually, when I get on tumblr or when I set out to do something to strengthen my connection with God, I’m pretty motivated about it; I’m just really passionate and ready to have at it. Other times I just feel so negative and unhappy that I make excuses and feel unfulfilled until I do a Godly post or read some scripture, or even listen to Godly music. 
      But then there’s times like today, when I feel absolutely neutral about the issue. I don’t necessarily feel like I want to do anything about it, but I don’t feel like NOT doing anything about it. 
      So, I went and grabbed my laptop, intent on making a post or reblogging a good amount of inspirational or thoughtful posts. I opened tumblr… and I felt nothing. Nothing came to mind when I started to write a post, and no images really caught my eye to where I felt like I needed to hit “reblog”. 
     However, I felt I needed to take some time today and put some effort into this. I had to physically remove myself from the room I was in (where the LOTR marathon I was enjoying was going on), even though I was perfectly content, and put myself in a situation where I could concentrate on the task at hand.
     My point (after that LONG and seemingly meaningless introduction) is that even if you are not driven to do anything specific for God, or you are not moved to put effort into what you are doing to further yourself spiritually, FORCE yourself. After I moved rooms and just started typing, I gained some steam. So, even if you don’t feel motivated or moved, just give it a chance. If no scripture is speaking to you, keep reading. You’ll find something, even if it’s the littlest feeling of positivity in your heart. If you are trying to pray, but don’t feel particularly thankful or in need of God, pray with everything in your heart anyway. You’ll find something that you really needed to give up to God, or something you are really really thankful for. Just give it a shot. What do you have to lose, other than negativity?

Please Please PLEASE read this to the end, even if you do not love or believe in God.

I try not to become angry when I see someone who is actively speaking out against God or doubters who are fervent in their mission to make others doubt. 

Okay, so at first I get kind of mad. And I start to think, who do they think they are?

But then I start to think, who do I think they are?

They are a child of God. They are a human being, created with just as much meticulous thought and love as I was. They are blessed in Christ. They struggle, just as I do sometimes.

And then, I feel regret. Regret, because I cannot save EVERYONE I encounter. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this kind of regret, especially with someone you are close to that you simply cannot seem to reach with the Spirit. It is heart wrenching. It is HORRIBLE.
And then I start to think about how GOD must feel about this person! He loves them more than ANYTHING! And He has to live with their rejection of Him ALL THE TIME!

The point of this seemingly pointless post is that Christians don’t approach atheists or non-believers or doubters to debate or argue to the point of stalemate. Okay, some may, but that’s not very Christian of them. But true Christians should feel pained by sadness over the turmoil that this person will face without God. And they should want to help to plant the seeds of faith, LOVINGLY.

I’m sorry if you’ve ever been wronged by a Christian or someone who follows God. People are corrupt. We cannot perfectly represent Christ or his love. And a lot of “Christians” don’t even try. 
I vow will try never to post anything hateful or untrue. I vow will try to be as Christ-like as I can. I vow will try to love you no matter who you are.  Because I can’t be perfect. Because no HUMAN is. But I will do my best to be your friend. And I will do everything I can to help you through this difficult, mysterious, joyful, and sometimes hurtful life.

God loves you, and so should I.

So I will.

<3 

Sometimes, I just don’t feel loved. 
I feel completely unloveable and broken.
But I really listened to “Beloved” by Tenth Avenue North for the first time the other day, and it made me cry (I’m not going to lie—the whole album made me sob like a baby when I took the time to listen to it!).
God is AMAZING! He loves us NO MATTER WHAT! Even if we turn from Him, He will always welcome us back into his arms. There is no love that can compare to the infinite love of God.

in·fi·nite/ˈinfənit/

  This is the definition of infinite from Google. Look closely at the synonyms for infinite. Yes, GOD is a synonym for infinite! God is ENDLESS! He has a LIMITLESS love for YOU, specifically! 
     There may be times when you just want to give up. You may feel there is no hope, no love in the world, no love in your heart. But, as long as there is God (which is for boundless time!) there is love. Turn to Him in your moments of sorrow or darkness. Declaring that you are a Christian or that you follow God isn’t always about showing strength. It’s about admitting that we are weak without God. Churches aren’t houses for the Holy. They are hospitals for the broken. 
     And when you are ever in doubt or in turmoil, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

     I’m a little late on “today” (January 26, 2012) since it’s already tomorrow, but today was an AWESOME day, God! I had dinner at McDonalds with my good Mormon friend, and we had some time to catch up on our lives this past week. We have both been very busy! But it was a GREAT time talking with him, and I went back to my dorm in a great mood and got back to posting for my fellow God-driven tumblrs. I was frustrated earlier today, but the issue that made me so upset was easily solved, a very important fact that I need to always keep in mind when the little things get me worked up. Also, I overcame the flu/sickness that was weighing me down. Yay! Also also, my ask box worked tonight! What a great blessing! (My ask box is disabled from letting ask other people questions because of my college’s internet firewall. I hope this isn’t a one time thing and that it is a modification that has fixed this issue permanently :D ).
     However, the end of my day was a little discouraging because of some troubles I am having emotionally with a close friend. Please help me have strength and assertiveness in this relationship, God. Allow me to confront the issue head-on instead of half-way solving it like I have been.  
     Oh! I almost forgot. It was snowing when I went to dinner, and it was the most perfect, beautiful snow I have ever seen! It was such a blessing to see your awesome might in the tiniest snowflakes that were falling all around me. Seeing your hand in nature all around me is something that expels faith related doubt from my mind instantly. It is truly scientific proof that you have a divine hand in this existence. 
      Thank you, God. You are so powerful.

It really bothers me when people say to “live your life to the fullest”, not because of what they are saying, but because they don’t mean what they say. 

During my first semester of College in Fall of 2011, I encountered many people who had beliefs that were drastically different than mine. That was not an issue, until they tried to thrust their beliefs onto me. 

“You don’t drink? Why not? You should live life to the fullest and have fun while you can!”

“Come on, do drugs with us! Live today as if it were your last! You’re no fun!”

Now, I’m not one to judge others. If you choose to partake in these activities, so be it. I can’t stop you. But don’t try to drag me down with you by telling me that I’m obviously not having fun or that I’m incapable of enjoying my life. No, I don’t drink or do drugs or engage in promiscuous activity. That doesn’t mean I’m not living my life to the fullest through CHRIST or that I’m not having fun worshiping GOD in all that I do.

Side Note: Isn’t it funny how others can shove their beliefs down our throats, but we as Christians have a hard time witnessing for God without being persecuted?

I’ve decided to attempt to post a journal entry every day in hopes that my struggles and triumphs can be shared with others who may be having the same issues. I think it will help us be able to connect and to share creative solutions to our problems and difficulties! :)

January 24, 2012 

Once again, today I am feeling defeated. It seems like all my friends are avoiding me, and I am missing out on the fun things that they are doing with other people. I am afraid to go to the Campus Ventures House because when I try to be a part of organized Christian activities I feel like a fraud. I know that these people face some of the same struggles I do, and that they don’t feel superior to me, but my social anxiety and my belief that they are “more faithful” than I am keeps me from joining in. The voice of God is increasing in volume inside me, and I know He is here with me during this difficult time. But the urge to ignore Him is also increasing, and I find it harder and harder to look on the positive side of things. On a another note, my new fish seems very healthy. Thank you God, for the blessing of animals and pets! Also, my Drawing 2 class is going very well. Please, God, help me to have a better day tomorrow and to feel refreshed by the Holy Spirit for the rest of the week. 

<3   M.K. 

     As a Christian, I often get the idea in my head that I have to be profound. That everything I say (and even everything I post) should be a grand gesture for the Glory of God. The thing is, even though my faith may be “ordinary”, God sees me as “extraordinary”.
     Even the smallest things that you do with God in mind are huge steps in your faith. A Christian lifestyle isn’t a gigantic feat or deed. Think about it this way: someone who lives by vegan beliefs expresses their lifestyle every time they eat or drink. We don’t really take a meal or a beverage into consideration when thinking about expressions of belief. But even something as average as lunch can be an “ordinary” way to follow your faith. 
      I’m not saying we shouldn’t put an extra effort into praising God through our deeds, but don’t beat yourself up for not turning water into wine on a daily basis. Just know that God is always there, and keep listening to that still-small-voice. 

:D