Not Of This World

All the posts about people breaking up and complaining about a boyfriend or a girlfriend or being heart broken over someone. 

That feeling like you’re going to die? That feeling that aches all-over? The feeling that life could not possibly go on like this. That there can only be nothingness.

That’s how I feel about my GOD. 
That’s how I feel when I think about what we DID TO HIM.
That’s how I feel when I think about His sacrifice for us.
That’s how I feel when I think about the fact that He loves me even though I spat in His face, and lied to Him, and hid from Him, and told Him that His gift was garbage, and destroyed His temple, and forgot about Him, and hated Him, and joined in the fight against Him, and used His name as a curse, and that I do these things STILL without even thinking about it. That I CONTINUALLY am a SINNER. 

That’s how I feel when I know that He makes me BLAMELESS, SPOTLESS, PERFECT

when I deserve to rot in hell. 

That’s why I can’t talk to Him without crying, without screaming and wailing and sobbing.

Because I deserve to be put to DEATH. I deserve to SUFFER FOREVER.
He was PERFECT. He did
NOTHING.

And He put that on Himself. 

If you’ve never been TORN APART inside over the fact that Jesus Christ loves you,

YOU DON’T KNOW LOVE.

     I’m a little late on “today” (January 26, 2012) since it’s already tomorrow, but today was an AWESOME day, God! I had dinner at McDonalds with my good Mormon friend, and we had some time to catch up on our lives this past week. We have both been very busy! But it was a GREAT time talking with him, and I went back to my dorm in a great mood and got back to posting for my fellow God-driven tumblrs. I was frustrated earlier today, but the issue that made me so upset was easily solved, a very important fact that I need to always keep in mind when the little things get me worked up. Also, I overcame the flu/sickness that was weighing me down. Yay! Also also, my ask box worked tonight! What a great blessing! (My ask box is disabled from letting ask other people questions because of my college’s internet firewall. I hope this isn’t a one time thing and that it is a modification that has fixed this issue permanently :D ).
     However, the end of my day was a little discouraging because of some troubles I am having emotionally with a close friend. Please help me have strength and assertiveness in this relationship, God. Allow me to confront the issue head-on instead of half-way solving it like I have been.  
     Oh! I almost forgot. It was snowing when I went to dinner, and it was the most perfect, beautiful snow I have ever seen! It was such a blessing to see your awesome might in the tiniest snowflakes that were falling all around me. Seeing your hand in nature all around me is something that expels faith related doubt from my mind instantly. It is truly scientific proof that you have a divine hand in this existence. 
      Thank you, God. You are so powerful.